dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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