I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
