You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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