think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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