well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize