could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
