distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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