speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I showed him my bush... on skype.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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