Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
sex in a hospital.. check
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
