whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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