i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
