I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
