I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
