Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
