Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I supernannyed him into submission
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
