it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
