I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
