I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
