I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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