Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize