Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
