All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
