okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
