i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
