oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
