so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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