dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Randomize
