it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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