If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
