No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize