idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
