At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
