Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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