Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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