That's intense
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
