I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
