I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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