I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
