are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
