Duck Duck Cougar?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize