I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
