I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize