Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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