Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
