am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
