Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
