Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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