She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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