And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
