Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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