I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
