Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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