I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
