Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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