So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
