WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
