Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize